Archive for May 24th, 2012

May 24, 2012

The Marriage Project, Reflection 52: “I believed it would last. But we all know it takes two people to do this.”

E is a relationship coach and advice columnist living in Ohio

Why did you decide to get married?

Honestly, the main reason I decided to get married to my ex-husband is because I found out I was pregnant. Of course, I wanted it to last. I believed it would last. But, we all know it takes two people to do this.

What changes have divorce/separation brought to your life?

The question should be, “What changes hasn’t divorce brought to your life?”  It may be hard to understand, but I wouldn’t change anything that has happened to me, divorce included. It has helped me become the strong, dedicated, and brave woman that I am. I also have a wonderful son because of it.

How has divorce/separation changed your view of marriage?

The only thing that has changed with my view of marriage is that couples really must spend more time together before they decide to do it. I only knew my ex for 5 months tops before we married. People really need to slow down and not rush things. Get to know each other and live together even longer. My fiance and I have been together now for 4 years, engaged for 2. No rush…

Do you think you’ll get married again? Why? Why not?

Absolutely. I still believe in marriage and everything it stands for between two people who truly love each other and decide to make such a strong commitment. Right after my divorce I didn’t feel I could ever marry again (as I think most people do), but that was well over 8 years ago. We live and learn and hopefully become better people and find ourselves along the way.

What advice would you give to women who are going through divorce/separation?

Divorce is not the end of the world. You may be thinking it’s the end of your life as you know it. And, maybe it is… However, you have a choice to make your new life as rich as you want it to be. If you are going through a divorce or separation the best thing to do is dive into something you have always wanted to do for you. Whether it’s a hobby, going back to school, begin a work out regimen , or even something as simple as a makeover. This is your time to anything you have ever wanted without someone holding you back!

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