“his clothes and ring and shoes are all going to talk.” (anne lamott)

The best way I can think to describe this fiction situation I am currently in is that it’s like someone adorable, fascinating, original and with a touch of the crazy crawled through my window in the middle of the night in the most non threatening way possible. I’m feeding them cookies and singing them songs to convince them not to leave.

Jami Attenberg said, “It makes me feel so clear-headed and strong and in control of my destiny, not to mention the destiny of all.. of these fictional characters. It makes me sit up straight and pay attention to myself.”

Instead of taking any kind of control, I’m sitting around in awe and fear. The phase I’m in right now is like being in love-the obsessive, freakish kind, where you collect as much information as possible and you want to be around each other all the time. In my case, that’s as far as it’s going for now, and I’m not sure why. I know it has to do with the fact that I’ve been in this monogamous relationship with these characters for almost 6 years, and any disruption feels like infidelity.

I think of it as requiring a  physical letting go- cutting a thread that tethers the bossy part of my brain to the one that just wants to create.I resent the hindrance, especially when I know there’s no good reason for  it, or remedy, other than for me to get out of my own way.

Here’s to movement, then, of the literally and figurative kind. 

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