1. become obsessed with three songs. play them over and over, until you know all the words and each feels like an appendage.
2. find a new place to work. there seems to be one outlet for a plug, and you’ve secured it, and now you feel invincible.
3. write a sentence: “I love your beautiful, carnival sized heart.”
4. wonder what this jenny person might have done to brandon flowers (from the killers) to end up in so many of his songs. decide it was probably nothing good.
5. make a note to call D on wednesday, his birthday. anticipate how he’s going to say that he’s getting old, even though you are a month and three days older than he is, and always have been.
6. remember the conversation you overheard in the indian restaurant with j on friday night between a man and a much younger woman. she was telling him about a dream she had involving a green gown and a scepter. recall how he sat back in his seat and said, thoughtfully, “For me, the most interesting part is when the dream throws itself off.”
7. think about how it’s going to be christmas soon and how you hate christmas, because no matter where you are in the world, or who you are with, it has a way of making you lonely.
8. write two more sentences: “Can you see me?” “Yes. I can see you.” wonder what it might mean.