in which we discuss masturbation

The truth is that I might not have been so amenable to this conversation and unselfconscious throughout it were it not for the social lubricant that is kaluha. I don’t think I’ve ever discussed  male masturbation with the hope of actually attaining  information about it. Having someone around who likes to share was helpful, so now I know some stuff. But here’s the thing-in this world, men can talk about masturbation as much as they want. It’s maybe considered immature at a certain point, but it’s still acceptable to discuss. (Male bodied folk-please disagree with me if you think I’m wrong.) For women, it’s very, very different.

I literally cannot remember one sex-positive conversation happening  in my house growing up, or a mention of contraception, so you would be correct if you assumed that masturbation was also never mentioned.

It wasn’t until much later, in college, that I was actually in a room with women who talked about-using real words, who had seen their cervixes with hand mirrors, who owned vibrators, who seemed to not be ashamed, who normalized it. Where did this come from? Did they learn this from their mothers? From friends? From Cosmo? Who are these people? How did they manage to negotiate the taboo?

In the end, the consensus is that women talk about their periods the way men talk about masturbation. But we still probably order our vibrators online.

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One thought on “in which we discuss masturbation

  1. Kyle says:

    Female masturbation is making a comeback. The vag-mono and the normalizing levels of ‘queer’ are helping. And I think men are too. I think that they’re deciding it’s not fair that women don’t get to masturbate. I work at an “adult novelty store” (that’s right, jobdom) and I think I’ve sold the most vibes to men who were buying them for women. It’s lovely.

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