We put the fans away in an act of shortsighted optimism. The only mug I’m interested in drinking out of has eyes and a beak. At 3 am, I got obsessed with this model and her model boyfriend, who met on Instagram first and then in real life at a concert. They took a bunch of photographs together and then they broke up. I read somewhere that pickles are good for your mood, so I ate two, feeling bleakishly unprepared for nextness.